on real friends


“Tough times never last, but tough people do." – Robert H Schuller

When tough times come, they come in sets of 3, just to be sure you are f* up. But when rough times get you, you can cry for ages and slip into a depression state for long or try to mentally-survive and get stronger -that's when your friends play an important role too. And that's a moment when you can realize who a true friend is and who is there just for the good things. 
So, what's friendship for you? Being there when your friend has good news & celebrating? Being there when your friend is bored? When s/he is stressed? Or when s/he is sad/worried etc.? Or everything?



While reading some blogs and articles from online magazines, I paid special attention to the friendship/relationships articles. Then saw a new lakatwalk post and started reading further so I searched for "friends" in lakatwalk.com  searching box- since it is a blog i have been following for long and I like to read, specially posts which carry personal thoughts on life, such as friendship (and of course fashion and travel posts! my fav). I picked two random posts containing the word "friends/friendship" and I really liked what old posts of this blog said! Wise LaKat giving advice similar to what most of us tell to our friends in need, I really liked some words on friendship:
"BE A GOOD FRIEND!
This takes effort, its’t not given. It doesn’t matter you know someone for years, you need to consciously invest your time and set your priorities in a way that people come first, your friends, family and coworkers…doesn’t matter who but people should always come before things (money included). When was the last time you gained a new friend? Do you let people come close enough to really get to know you?Today we tend to be so busy that Facebook needs to remind us when our friends are having birthdays, we postpone coffees and hanging out with friends cause we really need to work, we tend to take more then we give. When was the last time you called your friend without actually needing something from them or just to say hi?"
And I also found a post I liked not only for the reflection content but also the funny style in which it is explained and which I can relate to! Yes I have cried due to the pain suffered from fab shoes that I felt I needed to wear no matter what but never have I ever cried over a man I proudly say. 
Here's the part I liked about Kat's post for her reflections on loving oneself first:

"to be honest I remember crying more about fabulous shoes which were hurting me or I couldn't find in right size than over men I dated in total. (I continued to wear super fabulous, super uncomfortable shoes and crying about them. Some lessons you never learn.)"
I never got to read the beginnings of this blog but I liked the two texts I saw in those posts.
"Currently I am at the place in my life where priorities have started to change and when I look back I feel good about choosing career and education over relationships in that sensitive age of self fulfilment and testing my own limits and potential. "
Yes this is so right. I am proud to think I always put myself first when it came to education/career opportunities over any man I liked/was attached to -even if it was a lot. At the end you know it's going to be you and just you, a guy can "end" tomorrow, and then you might regret chances you didn't take because you were counting on some trip together, some future ideas of living together or remaining in one place. Just do what you want, and be happy with yourself. And friends. Just like a guy can end tomorrow and you might not talk to each other anymore, friends shouldn't. You have known them for long and have invested a lot of time & shared many good times so you have to keep on with whatever friendship (if good) you have, and be there through the good and the bad times because that's when they probably need you the most. Wise Charlotte York said we should stick to our friends, and have guys only for fun-since they prove to be jerks and then it's when we need our friends. Beware of the friends you have and do not spoil the friendship you built because of some daydreaming with a certain someone...if you don't water your plants they eventually go away -same happens with friends... (I am also very proud to say I always put my friends over guys because I always knew a guy could disappoint me any day any moment but that may be more related to my trust issues, well that... can be left for another post or just blame it on my zodiac sign).



Lately I've seen my best friend proved to be a real friend & has been there for any drama and real drama I had. 2016 hasn't been treating me like the queen I am (flips hair and blinks dramatically) and my mental state has proved to be quite strong though I had very hard moments and nights of insomnia and overthinking due to serious situations. Going a bit (L)Aura Dione & trying to erase hard times related to family/friggingwork/feelings/friends (all with F..same as THAT great prohibited word in schools f*k)... it was impossible to just not get a bit bonkers with everything up together. Endless conversations on the phone, meeting whenever we didn't have to work and even coming home (she works quite far) whenever she had a day off & felt I had one of those (super  bad) days. I didn't have to ask. And I wouldn't ask for much, just presence and listening even if I repeat myself for a thousand times because I just need to let it all out. Award given (but just so you know, I'll still blame you for my granny wrinkles when we are 80 years old). I owe you one of these:


And it's only June. I hope all this occurred to prepare me for something real good. Otherwise hell is raising an evil B* instead of a weak one. But I see all this as a lesson to see who has been there for support and who is there just when sh* is on them. Family, friends... some are golden, others just tagged as Famil/Friend..with a F standing for quite Fake. 

“The friend in my adversity I shall always cherish most. I can better trust those who helped to relieve the gloom of my dark hours than those who are so ready to enjoy with me the sunshine of my prosperity.”– Ulysses S. Grant


lau.

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40 comments to blue my mind

  1. Awww honey <3 of course you don't have to ask for it! Ho faig perque vull, i se que tu faries el mateix (de fet sempre has estat quan ho he necessitat) That's what friends are for, sweetie!

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  2. Having true friends is everything anyone can ask for! I have struggled a lot with friendships over the years but it's the one that have stood by you that truly matter! :)

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  3. I don't have many true friends, but I value them all so much. It's so much better then having load of fake friends.

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    1. good friends are like family indeed :)

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  4. Being a good friend is certainly a two way process, you have to be there for them. I think I have two or three good friends and rather have that than loads of friends that aren't true friends.

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    1. yes the commitment is mutual! You have to be there for them too :)

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  5. This is a lovely post. Being a true friend, and a good friend, is SO important. H x

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    1. thanks Harriet and I agree with you!

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  6. Friendship is definitely a two-way process, and having a small circle of real friends than a Facebook list full of 'friends' is so much more valuable x

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    1. yes you have to be a good friend if you want them to be too!:)

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  7. Friendships are hard work, but the ones that really matter don't feel like it. Ever. That's when you know you've found people you can go through everything with.

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    1. and it's totally worth it! yes you are right

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  8. I think as you get older, your true friends decrease. I think it's definitely a quality over quantity situation though.

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  9. Friendship is definitely a two way process! We all have our ups and downs but there ones out there who are worth it.

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  10. I have many friends, but I can count on only one or two for everything. Having true friends means thy know you inside and out, and I wouldn't survive without having them as my backbone. x

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    1. almost everyone has a closest set of friends whom s/he can trust more :) these are the important ones!

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  11. Everyone needs a friend, someone that is there when times are tough. I only have one friend like that, but that one friend has always been there for me, as I have her. Being a true friend and having a true friend is really important! Lovely post. xx

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    1. thank you and yes! sometimes they can be like family :)

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  12. Friendships are definetly a 2 way stret. So sick of always making the effort with people amd you dont get any favours back. Xxx

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  13. I am fortunate that I have a fair number of real friends that I have known for many years and have added to over time.

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  14. Friendships are very important. I have a few good friends I hold there.

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  15. Sometimes it can be so hard to find real true friends, people who will stick beside you no matter what. x

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  16. Good friends make everything so much easier. People who are there for you when you're down are worth keeping around.

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  17. A very thought provoking post. I hadn't even finished reading it when I took a moment to send my best friend a message, just because. I hope this year gets better for you.

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  18. Men come and go but true friendship is forever! I always put my career before men and sadly before my friends sometimes. My close and true friends understand this about me and often don't mind but they are always there to shout at me to take a break every once in a while. They say you can't choose your family but I did as my friends are my family.

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  19. It is true being a good friend takes time and effort but good friends will always put in the work.

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  20. Being a good friend is so important, they are few and hard to find x

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  21. Having true friends and being a good friend is SO important. I've lost two of my best friends over the last couple of years through their behaviour but i can't risk being stabbed in the back twice! xxx

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  22. I only have a few true friends but I would rather that than tons of fake people!

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  23. Finding real friends is tough and once we do we should cherish and hold on. Life isn't easy and having at least one person to have our back means so much. I have a very few I can trust and one that I know who will always be there for me.

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  24. I always found my true friends were people I met online.
    My 'sister' I met online over 15 years ago and we are like sisters now more than anything else.
    Not sure why, but those that really care for me are online

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  25. It's so important to have someone to turn to when times get hard! It's great that you've got such a good friend to rely on :)

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  26. Great friendships are like gold dust and so worthwhile. You never know when you will find that treasure! I hope the rest of 2016 is much kinder to you.

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  27. both has to make effort and not just a one way thing. there are times where i don't talk to my true friends often as life takes over but you know you can always count on them and they can count on you

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  28. Friends come and go all the time, but true friends are the ones that stick by you for ever and are there in the good times and are also there in the bad times to help you through it. I have been so lucky because although I don't have many friends the ones I do have are more than just friends they are like sisters to me.

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  29. As they say, you regret the things you didn't do, so grasping all career/education opportunities when you can is definitely the right way forward!

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